"You promise that we'll never lie to each other."
"That's a promise."
Sarah is the rich girl from a "proper" family but Tom is a radio traffic announcer who has a passion for watching
sports and drinking beer. Nothing strange there if you're a guy. Still these two love each other and against her
parents desires they get married ten months after they met. They both promise never to lie to each other but before
they get married Tom and Sarah confide in their best man and maid of honour that they each have a secret. The advice
is to keep it to themselves; which we all know will eventually come back to haunt them at the most inopportune time.
"...And that was it. A month later we were married."
Peter Prentis works for Sarah's father and still wants her and is not about to give up on her even after her
marriage. The father has no problem helping Peter in this endeavour even though Sarah has made it clear she is not
interested in Peter. Tom's father on the other hand is extremely happy that the two are married. With this bit of
background let's head off to the honeymoon.
"Playtime is over children."
The trip over the Atlantic is very funny with the two trying to find a moment to get into the washroom for an
attempt at sex. It turns into a comedy of errors that foreshadows the rest of the honeymoon trip. The film quickly
descends into the usually Hollywood pratfalls and cultural misunderstandings.
"Are you mocking me?."
Their trip to the honeymoon castle starts by Tom and Sarah driving there in the ugliest new rental car I have ever
seen. Tom is not happy driving it and like him I would be embarrassed to be seen in it myself. It is uuuggglllyyy.
On arrival at this beautiful castle they are met with a gift from Peter and one from Tom's buddy, Kyle. That not so
innocent gift gets them kicked out of the hotel and send out into the cold, snowy night in their God awful ugly,
yellow thing that passes for a car.
"Great, now we get to freeze to death."
Things are not going too well and an argument has them ending in a snow bank in the dark. They are trapped in the
car overnight and in the morning they have a little surprise or two waiting for them. A tow truck driver suggests
that they go to Venice in Italy and gives the two cash starved honeymooners a cheap place to stay. It's not just
cheap it is a dump run by a fat landlady that leaves trails of flatulence behind her. Yes they managed to get a
fart joke into the movie, surprise!
"Do you have four men staring at your boobies right now?"
Dump or not the two sex starved honeymooners try once more to do the deed and in their moments of passion manage to
go flying through the cheap crumbling wall. I did tell you the room waa a dump didn't I? Anyway the two end up in
their neighbour's bed and all night long Tom and Sarah have to lay in bed listening to the lovemaking next door.
Needless to say no sex for them that night. So you say, "Hey they did it in the morning, correct?". Sorry Sparky
you're wrong, a very large cockroach puts a damper on their amourous intentions.
"I know this honeymoon hasn't been perfect."
Sarah can't take it anymore and calls her father to help them with hotel arrangements. After the father insults Tom
on the phone, the new husband gets angry and tells Sarah that her family wants this marriage to fail. Once the two
move into their swank new hotel room, Tom decides to stay in while Sarah goes to view the Tintorello's in the art
museums. When Sarah goes to the lobby, who should be there but no other than Peter Prentis. Is this an obvious setup
by the father or what. Remember I mentioned that the lies will come back at theem at the most inopportunr time. Well
it does with vengeance. No I still have no intention of telling you what the lies are about. Pay your money and see
the movie.
"Hooker!."
"Murderer!."
Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy make the movie with their portrayal of two kids married at to
young an age. The film itself is too predictable but still if laughs are what you are looking for then you will not
be disappointed. Kutcher, unfortunately acts to much like Kelso from the THE 70's SHOW and detracts from the
character but otherwise he is funny. Tom and Sarah are like a young version of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez from
movie, THE LONG TRAILER but not nearly as funny of course. That movie was also about a young married couple
whose marriage seems doomed from the start.
"The first sex I had on my honeymoon was with a man named Santino."
Sam Harper's screenplay could have been much better since it addresses newlyweds from different classes, who face
pressures and obstacles to their marriage. Unfortunately, the film aims at more lowbrow humour rather than dwelling
on some of the more insightful problems that could have been dealt with. Like I said the saving grace is the fine
acting job the two leads.
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