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"The integrity of the game must be kept for the people."
This new updated version of ROLLERBALL was due to be released last summer but John McTiernan, decided to hold back
the release so he could do more work to it. As it turns out, he either did too much tinkering with it or not enough because either way this is a
film that is so far below his abilities that it is an embarrassment. Something, somewhere went terribly wrong with this film. More than likely
the director, the writer, the producers and the editors were asleep at the wheel.
"Is it true your mother is a crack whore?"
Now don't get me wrong, this is not the worst movie I've seen, there have been worse. It is a shame because as I said earlier with today's
special effects technology it could have been so much better. When it come to sequels my attitude is simple, if you can't do it better leave it
alone. Why waste the film to make something so incoherent and plotless. Thank goodness there were some good action scenes even
though they didn't make too much sense. One of the best action sequences takes place after Jonathan Cross played by AMERICAN PIE
actor Chris Klein and Marcus Ridley LL Cool J decide to escape the owner and his game by sneaking out in the middle of
the night. They grab a truck and ride off into the desert with their goal to get across the border into another country. They are followed by
motorcycles who try to run them off the road. After they cause a crash taking out most of the bikes they escape down a dirty highway on their
motorcycle, doing 120 mph on a dirty road with a road bike. They think they are getting away when these lights approach them. It turns out to
be the teams cargo plane which almost takes them out but instead lands on the road and disgorges more all terran jeeps to go after them.
This entire scene is fairly and exciting and would have been the best part of the movie if it wasn't for the fact that for some strange, inexplicable
reason the entire sequence is shot through night lens. It comes out all green but there is absolutely no reason for this scene to be shot in this
manner
"The man wants a show. I guess I'll have to give him one."
The movie is set in 2005 in Central Asia in what looks like downtown New York in a bad punk rock, heavy metal nightmare. French actor
Jean Reno plays an ex-KGB officer hard case called Alexi Petrovich, who owns the new and possibly hottest sports startup in the
world. This rollerball league plays on a figure 8 track with ramps and other obstacles. The game has motorcycles and roller skaters all on
the track at the same time. It's like a roller derby demoliton where a team have to catch a jet propelled silver metal ball and keep possesion
of it and go twice around the track before attemting to score. To score you have to slam it at a big metal gong that throws off a shower of
pretty sparks when the ball hits it. Rules seem to be few and penalties rare in this game.
"You can't kill the tyrant unless you first make an arrangement with his successor."
I'm not going to tell you too much about the plot because there is very little to say except that it has a few hard fought games and some almost
interesting co-ed locker room scenes. Characters play the game and the owners try to either get them hurt or try to kill them for ratings on
something called instant global ratings. Everytime their players get hurt or things get really violent you can see the ratings go up. HUH!!
Yeah, see the writers or whoever figure that we are so stupid as an audience that we accept that the viewing audience for their show
somehow magically know that there is more violence about to happen so they suddenly tune in. Really.
"He's coming back for the love of the game."
Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, from X-MEN stars one of the members of the HORSEMEN team, named Aurora who just happens
to be Jonathan's lover. Aurora has some good scenes but a silly one happens when she agrees that someone obviously meant for Tobie, one
of their teammates to be hit in the head witht he rollerball because his helmet strap was cut. What is funny about this is that Jonathon makes
a point of never doing up his strap. Fix the plot holes guys.
"What we have here is a no holds barred cockfight."
You see Petrovich wants the violence to increase his ratings so he can get North American Cable deals. Okay writers, think for a second, do
you honestly not think that cable companies would pick up a normal version of this rollerball game. It has everything that an audience
would want...lots of action and normal violence. In one scene a guy stops his motorcycle on top of a player, bounces up and down then drives
over her. What a television audience would not find that exciting?
"Watch them. They take a shit, I want to know what it smells like."
So basically this movie first needed a reasonably intelligent script and a director that knew what he was doing. He should have, after all he
turned out some pretty good films called DIE HARD and it's sequels. So basically this film will be a decent second feature to see
at a drive-in theatre otherwise wait for the video. I'm sure that the best part of going to this movie maybe watching the 98 minutes move
slowly across the face of your watch. Sorry people, except for a few good scenes basically I can't recommend this film. Popping the popcorn
and Milk Duds into your mouth will be the highlight of your evening. Now go rent the video of the original Normal Jewison
ROLLERBALL and see the good version. Now scat, go away and do something productive with your life.
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