"Everything's good in the hood."
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"He's clean man."
"We're about to find out."
I take action films at face value. I do not go in expecting good acting neceassarily but I do expect lots of interesting action.
HALF PAST DEAD gives you lots of it. Action it has but it is also filled with some really cheesy acting. No more so than
from one of my favourite actresses, Claudia Christian. I first saw her in a sci-fi film called THE HIDDEN. There was something
about her build and voice that intrigued me. I was really happy and excited when I got to see her every week on the greatest Sci-fi
television series made, BABYLON 5. There she played the fiery and ever loyal Susan Ivanova. In this film she plays FBI agent
E.Z. Williams, a two gun toting rough and ready agent. Okay her acting was really cheezy and so was her part but that is to be expected
when you're named Easy Williams, right? Still I enjoy seeing her so I don't care what the rest of you think.
"Are you friend or foe?"
The entire point of this movie is simple. Seagal an undercover FBI agent called Sascha Petrosevitch is set up so that 8 months later
he can be taken to a newly recomissioned Alcatraz that is supposed escape proof. Unfortunately as you will discover it was not expected
that someone would want to break in so it was not made break in proof. One of the criminal friends he made played by Ja Rule is Nick
Frazier is also taken to Alcatraz to help enforce the idea of Sascha being a hard ass criminal.The hard as nails warden called El Fuego
(The Fire) played by Tony Plana is unaware of this subterfuge so Sascha is treated just like everyone else.
"You got a hard head esai, keep it on your neck."
Now this new Alcatraz has a special execution chamber where a very special prisoner is to be executed. Lester McKenna,
seventeen years earlier, hit a US Teasury train from where he stole $200 million in gold. An unexpected derailment of the train caused the
death of five Treasury agents. Justice June McPherson (Linda Thorson) was the judge who condemned him to death. She has come to
the island to witness her execution with two bodyguards. Lester who is played by Bruce Weitz (Hill Street Blues) has volunteered to be the
new Alcatraz's first victim of the execution chamber.
"You think you're hard; I'm harder. You think you're mean; I'm meaner."
The excution chamber is reminiscent of the one used in the 1973 film SOYLENT GREEN starring Charlton and Edward G. Robinson. In the
movie people who had chosen euthanasia to relieve themselves of the burden of living in a horribly over crowded planet, were treated to a
room where the walls showed films of what the old beautiful planet looked like. Deer frolicing in the woods, birds flying and peaceful carefree
life; this was to be their last visions as the slowly fell into eternal sleep. Well Lester is treated to to same thing.
"Dead man walking."
Okay let's go back to Saacha's reason for being in the prison. It was to try and convince Lester to talk about where the gold was hidden.
He never told and was going to take hiding place to his grave. It seems that others also want to know the answer so they form a strike force
to break in to the prison and spring Lester. No they are not humanitarian. They do this so he could be forced to tell them where the gold is
buried. The team lead by criminal mastermind Donny/49er One (Morris Chestnut) is prepared for the guards but unfortunately they never took
into account the prisoners getting involved. It is rather nice to seeing bad guys who act like reluctant good guys every once in a while.
"Welcome to Slaughtehouse Five."
Once they arrive in a calamitous storm one of their escape helicopters crashes in to the skylight roof of the prison. It makes for some
interesting scenes throughout the acttacks. I really didn't know how to take that scene, it was interesting but seemed absurd at the same
time.
"Let's party boys."
Nia Peeples as 49er Six says very little in this movie as the second in command but when she goes into action, she walks away with the
scenes stealing the movie away from everyone. She was really good in her part and makes the film worth it. Dressed in one of those, you
know, Matrix style leather coats and big guns she displays excellent brutality. Her martial arts scenes are deadly and excellent as well. I don't
remember for sure but I don't believe at any time she battles Seagal. He may not have wanted to use his brand of fighting against a female
fighter...smart move.
"I think we just lost our ride."
The action eventually leads to an unexpected climax. I did not expect the ending being done in the manner it was. The stunt work on the
ending scenes are absolutely breathtaking. The ending of this action thriller is worth the admission price alone. The action in a lot of the
movie seems preposterous at times but who cares. We are there to see action and we can stretch the imagination a bit can't we?
"All I have to do is flip the switch and shes dead."
Make sure you stick around for the end credits because a series of scenes occur that are funny to watch. So don't go stampeding out
before the end. Hey you paid your money so watch all you paid for, for goodness sakes. So there it is. If you like good ol' action films go
see HALF PAST DEAD. If not stay home and save your money after all this isn't Shakespeare, but it is fun enough to go enjoy some theatre
popcorn.
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